


Kalamari

by GoblinCatKC



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-26 13:50:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13237062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoblinCatKC/pseuds/GoblinCatKC
Summary: Leonardo and Raphael are captured by the Foot Clan and held in a tiny cage when Shredder comes to monologue at them. Fortunately, they know something Shredder doesn't. Correct turtle anatomy...it's not just for awesome sex.





	Kalamari

**Author's Note:**

> Published many years ago on my old LiveJournal.

"Just when I was starting to like manacles," Raphael grumbled, yanking on the steel around his wrists. "Shredder has to go and ruin 'em again."  
  
Leonardo sighed and didn't move. They'd been in worse positions, but locked up in Shredder's clan headquarters wasn't something to take lightly, either. On their knees in a cramped little cage, their hands were locked above their heads without any slack.  
  
"I never liked 'em much," Leonardo admitted. "They're always cold and the metal pinches at the worst times. Rope's a lot better."  
  
Raphael shot him a look. "You didn't say anything about 'em last night."  
  
"Kinda hard to talk around Mikey's cock," Leonardo said. "I swear, between the two of you, it's a wonder I can still move my jaw at all."  
  
"Mm," Raphael murmured to himself. "Gotta work at it a little more then."  
  
Sometimes Leonardo thought that being stuck with Raphael for any length of time with nothing else to do was the real torture. Shredder's death traps and mindless minions were nothing compared to the aggravation from his siblings.  
  
"Even silent, I can still put you through the training routines," Leonardo said, narrowing his eyes.  
  
"We can test that out," Raphael said with a sly smile. "Such a nice way to finally shut you up for awhile."  
  
"You obnoxious little-"  
  
"Ain't nothing 'little' 'bout me-"  
  
"Turtles!" Shredder yelled as he threw the door open, sweeping in with his cape billowing behind him. He didn't notice their long suffering sigh as he stood before them, swinging a key on his finger.  
  
"By now you must appreciate how hopeless your situation is," Shredder said, leaning down to look in their cage. "You'll be pleased to know that we're making everything ready for the banquet in your honor. Tell me..."  
  
He leaned closer, chuckling darkly. "Which one of you wants to be made turtle soup first?"  
  
"Raphael," Leonardo said. "Definitely Raphael. More fat on his bones."  
  
"Like hell," Raphael said. "Cook Leo unless you wanna hear him complaining all through the first course."  
  
"You may scoff," Shredder snarled at them. "But you'll be begging in terror when you're lowered into boiling water. Enjoy what little time you have left. I guarantee your last minutes will be slow and painful."  
  
He dropped the key in front of them, laughing as they both looked at it and twisted uselessly in their manacles, and then swept back out of the room, his laughter echoing down the hall as he walked out of sight.  
  
Leonardo and Raphael watched him silently, then looked at the key.  
  
"I can't bust these chains," Raphael admitted.  
  
"I could probably slip out of them," Leonardo said. "But it'll cost most of my skin. I don't think I'd be able to hold anything."  
  
"Let's save that for a last resort then," Raphael said. "You know...I can probably reach it. It just won't be pretty."  
  
"You sure?" Leonardo said. "It's pretty cold in here, you might-"  
  
"Longer'n yours, 'big' brother," Raphael snapped. "Just...don't make any comments, 'kay?"  
  
"Fine, fine..." Leonardo said, looking away and muttering under his breath. "Bet you tie in a knot..."  
  
Shooting him a look, Raphael took a deep breath and concentrated. He felt himself slowly engorging, but Leonardo—damn him—was right as usual. The air was downright chilly. After a moment, he growled to himself.  
  
"I can't do it alone," he grumbled.  
  
"What do you want me to do?" Leonardo snapped. "Like you said, I can't reach it. I'm a head shorter—dammit it, don't you dare laugh—"  
  
"Great wording there," Raphael snickered, but he sobered quickly. "But I mean it. I need help. It's too cold and I'm hardly in the mood."  
  
"Shredder's cage not doing it for you?" Leonardo said.  
  
"I like manacles when I'm not the one in 'em," Raphael said, looking at him without any sarcasm. "Please?"  
  
Leonardo sighed again. "Fine, but I feel stupid."  
  
"You think I don't?" Raphael said.  
  
"No," Leonardo said, pitching his voice lower. "I don't."  
  
The effect was immediate. Raphael swallowed once. Leonardo saved that voice only for the bedroom. Or the kitchen, if Mikey was frisky that morning. Or the training room after practice.  
  
"I think you feel pretty smug," Leonardo continued, "giving me commands and I have to obey you. I'm helpless otherwise. I can't get out of this cage. If you got free, you could do anything you wanted to me."  
  
Raphael felt like a party favor. One moment he was wound up, the next moment his cock engorged and came tumbling out of his tail. It was a secret they kept from their human friends. Their mutation had not altered some of their basic anatomy, and a mutant turtle's erection kept pace with that of a normal turtle's.  
  
"Keep going," Raphael groaned. "I'm only half there."  
  
"I can tell," Leonardo said, again in that low voice. "Even though I usually don't see it. I only feel it in me when it's rock hard and slamming into me—"  
  
Raphael bit his tongue as his cock extended across the cold steel cage.  
  
"—when I try to cry out and you take me by surprise, shoving it into my mouth and hitting the back of my throat—"  
  
Finally Raphael lay completely exposed, a little over two feet in length, and he choked as he angled his hips, trying to tilt the head of his shaft onto the key. Leonardo watched his progress and judged that he wouldn't make it without a little help.  
  
"Remember how I drag my tongue along—?"  
  
He didn't have to finish. Raphael's cock twitched at the memory, landing on top of the key.  
  
"Okay," Raphael panted. "Got it. Now...if I can come, I'll drag it back again."  
  
Leonardo glanced at Raphael, impressed that he was still coherent. His brother could be a mindless animal and his eyes were already a bit glazed.  
  
"No," he mused. "You can't come."  
  
"What?" Raphael hissed, glaring at him.  
  
"If you do," Leonardo reasoned, "you'll just shoot the key across the cage and we'll never reach it. You can go for about five minutes, right?"  
  
"I'm sure it wasn't that long," Raphael argued. He kept his look on Leonardo's hands, staying aroused knowing his brother was tied down.  
  
"You timed it," Leonardo said. "Same day you and Mikey measured yourselves. And I said you were both stupid and you smacked me."  
  
Raphael laughed despite himself. Cock slapping someone meant something a lot more painful when using a mutant turtle cock. Leonardo had been stuck with a fading bruise on his cheek for days. Training had been extra brutal for a week, but Raphael still thought it was worth it.  
  
"You're gonna have to stay like that," Leonardo said, "and slowly go down. Otherwise it'll slip off and I don't know that we have enough time to do this again."  
  
"A real quickie, huh?" Raphael nodded. As much as he didn't like, he'd have to do it. "Don't suppose you can...talk me down?"  
  
Leonardo stared at him, a little bewildered. "I don't know if I can. I've never done that before."  
  
"Try," Raphael said, tilting his head back and knocking it against the bars. "Please. You know how to be frustrating."  
  
"Smartass. Okay. Um..." Leonardo briefly considered it, watching Raphael's cock lay flat. "Frustrating...I can do that. You know, as big as you are...I think Mikey's more of a natural at it."  
  
Raphael's groan and the key dragging closer an inch told him he was on the right track. Leonardo grinned and kept going, speeding up now that he knew what to say.  
  
"Mikey likes teasing you, doesn't he?" Leonardo said. "I remember you walked into the kitchen when Mikey had me over the counter, and he made you watch. You wanted to take him from behind, I knew it, and he wouldn't let you."  
  
"Not fair...using...that little bastard," Raphael growled, but his cock was sliding back inch by inch, bringing the key with it.  
  
"He's a natural dom," Leonardo said. "That crossdressing thing he likes just makes it kinkier, huh? So weird that he likes lace and ruffles, and then he pulls out the riding crop and snap—"  
  
Neither of them expected the powerful jump Raphael's cock made, sending the key flying up towards the bars of the cage. Leonardo expected it to sail away, but Raphael's reflexes were honed by long hours of grueling practice, and he painfully jerked his hand to the right, catching the key in his palm.  
  
"Finally," Raphael grumbled, unlocking the manacle and then freeing his other hand. "Excuse me a second. I don't wanna run around here half hanging out, after all."  
  
"We don't have time for that," Leonardo argued.  
  
"Not like you're in a position to stop me," Raphael smirked at him. "Then again, maybe I'll make you take care of it for me. Not like you're going anywhere, and...I do like ya strung up like that..."  
  
As Raphael contemplated trying to bring the cage home with them, he reached out and stroked Leonardo's throat, following the line of his arm up to the steel manacle. Leonardo glared at him, then half-smiled.  
  
Raphael froze. He knew that smile. That boded nothing but pain and—  
  
"Stockman in the shower."  
  
"You son of a bitch!" Raphael howled as his cock slid back so fast that it sounded like a tape measure slamming into its holder. He curled up and gingerly touched his tail. "Dammit, that hurt! It's gonna take days to smooth talk Kalamari back out here."  
  
Leonardo stared at him. The silence stretched until Raphael realized he'd said that out loud.  
  
"You named it Kalamari?" Leonardo said.  
  
"What," Raphael said defensively, "like you never named yours?"  
  
"No," Leonardo said. "Kalamari?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Shut. Up."  
  
"Do you dress it up like some perverted puppet sho—"  
  
Leonardo "mmph'ed" as Raphael crushed their mouths together, forcing him back against the cage and putting one hand around his tail, squeezing hard enough to make him yelp. When he pulled back, he gave Leonardo a rough slap—barely a love tap when they were used to kicking each other in the dojo—and looked him in the eye.  
  
"Look, fearless, either you shut up or I suck you off 'till you _don't_ come, got it?"  
  
Rubbing his stinging cheek on his shoulder, Leonardo looked at him from the corner of his eye. "On one condition."  
  
"What?" Raphael snapped.  
  
"Why Kalamari?"  
  
"Jesus, Leo, you—" Raphael cut himself and started to unlock Leonardo's hands. "Fine. Me and Mikey were looking at this stupid Chinese menu, and it said its squid was cooked hot and and long and firm, 'kay? And it cracked us up and, well. You know."  
  
"Okay," Leonardo laughed once, rubbing the soreness out of his wrists and following Raphael out of the cage. "Wait...did Mikey name his?"  
  
"You know," Raphael sighed, dropping the key on the cage floor as if they'd never used it. "For someone who thinks it's stupid, you sure are obsessed with this."  
  
"But that's why," Leonardo insisted, popping off a maintenance panel along the floor and starting down. "It's just so weird..."  
  
"Yeah, well..." Raphael's voice faded as he slid the panel back into place. "Just imagine if Shredder named his."  
  
Leonardo froze. Raphael didn't notice he'd stopped climbing and bumped his shell into Leonardo's head, making them both wince.  
  
"What is it?" Raphael hissed, wondering if Leonardo had heard something. Now he really missed his sais.  
  
"What if...?" Leonardo whispered. "But it does make sense."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Raph," Leonardo said, looking up with wide eyes, "what if that's why Saki calls himself the Shredder?"  
  
For the rest of the turtles' slow trek out of Shredder's headquarters, patrolling ninja thought they heard ghostly snickers coming from the walls.


End file.
